Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
