Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
