dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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