That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
