ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Randomize
