You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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