They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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