Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
