this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
