Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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