you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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