I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I still have a little drunk in my system
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
