It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
