Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
