i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
