ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
