I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
