the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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