allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
