You can't motorboat a personality
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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