Got a toothbrush?
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
