just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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