i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
