yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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