did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
