New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
