I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
