I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
