This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
