What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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