what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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