That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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