You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
