is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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