Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
