I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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