i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
