So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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