yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Watching her eat just hurts me
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize