You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
