I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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