Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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