if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Randomize
