it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
