Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
