ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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