yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
