So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
