My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
