quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
