Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
