I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
