so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
