It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Randomize
