Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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