How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
