it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
