i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
