I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
