So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
