OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
