ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
