I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize