you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
